I was honestly hoping to be graceful in victory, even with as little faith as I'd had that victory was possible, much less assured.
Now that Obama has won, I suddenly find that I want to subject all of the Neocons and all of the republicans who, even though they might not have agreed with Bush and Cheney, have spent the last eight years either smugly confident and supportive of all their crap, or even worse -- silent despite feeling an unease about the course our government has taken -- and subject them to the same behavior.
I remember when the Shrub got up in front of the nation and said something along the lines of, "I'm the President now. I'm the President of America; I'm even the President of those of you who didn't vote for me." That smug, petty, revealing remark about what a power-hungry, selfish President he would become has been ringing in my head for 8 years. Cheney trying to cast the Vice Presidency as some kind of exercise in quantum state logic problem, claiming whatever suits him when he should have been convicted for contempt of court. Rummy. Man, just... Rumsfield. And Rove perhaps more than anyone else: "The Architect." These lying scum had been in charge of the country for too long, and so proud about hijacking our grief over 9/11 and trotting it out whenever we needed to be scared into submission enough to agree to their agenda.
I've grown so sick of it over the last eight years I had no idea how much I've been bottling up. I've been in despair, been angry, and been ashamed over the course of things. And part of me wants to be as graceless in victory as the opposition has been now, for 1/5th of my years on this planet, for a third of my time as a voter. Part of me wants to get all testosterone-poisoned jock on the losing players, and humiliate them. Rub their face in the mess they've made, and put them outside. Begin shouting "America, love it or leave it!" back in their faces. Someone once told me that anger is just another face that fear takes. I'm not sure I agree, but I've been angry for awhile, and afraid that we would not recover, that perhaps the more reasonable among us, those with enough common sense to be conflicted on complex issues, might never have the power in our own hands again. That fear nearly allowed me to become as shrill and intolerant as those that have been in power for the last 8 years.
In the end, people taking the high road are setting enough of an example that I'll try and refrain from teabagging anyone crying into their McCain/Palin commemorative hankies. This article, in particular makes me more hopeful than vengeful: eastside93's Blog | Talking Points Memo | I Didn't Vote For Obama Today
I have a confession to make.
I did not vote for Barack Obama today.
I've openly supported Obama since March. But I didn't vote for him today.