chronovore | (no subject)

Dear Guy on the Train,

When you got on, and I was standing uncomfortably far off to one side of the doorway to make as much room as possible for people to get on, it was not a sign for you to get in and stand right next to me, preventing me from relaxing back into my previous position. That's where, you know, I'm standing with /both/ feet on the floor, and am marginally balanced. So first off, thanks for the little back and thigh workout you necessitated by keeping me shoved off balance to the side.

Secondly, when the train arrived at the next stop, where I needed to get off, you stood there at the edge of the doorway, unmoving. You finally noticed me unsqueezing myself out from my precarious situation, and yet you did not move more than 5 cm further away from me, when you should have been - what? yes - getting off the train briefly, because you are standing smack in the middle of the doorway.

How is it you can stand directly in the middle of a doorway, the only means of people disembarking and embarking on the train, and act as though you are unaware of your own position as a self-willed obstacle? This is not rocket science. You're just an antisocial, privileged piece of inconsiderate human dung. I hope your peepee falls off.

Very sincerely yours,
Me.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I've said "Sumimasen, orimasuyo" so many times with no response, I'm beginning to think I'm saying it wrong.

It's spelled that way, but it's pronounced, "Oi, oyaji. Doke~."

When this happens, I basically pretend like the jerk isn't even there and just plow right through them.

Admittedly, I did give the guy an unnecessary, hard shove. I don't say this with any pride; I felt a little bad afterward for being petty.

You've definitely been there a while. Here, try to get off an elevator and people either shove you back in or stand directly in the doorway and go "uh! Aren't you getting out?"

Also, asking if we're going up when we're already on the top floor is another good 'un. But since shoving past here results in a fistfight, oh well. Civilization -- seeking civilized people!

Yeah, I generally just say "excuse me" in a loud voice, give them a few milliseconds to react, and then I just push through.

I'll see if I can't exercise my baritone.

My favorite elevator people are the ones who arrive at our top floor, and clearly have just entirely forgotten to push a button, but are still trying to be cool about it.

Nope, sorry. You guys are clueless, and there is no way out of looking silly. YOU'RE SILLY! NYAR!