he just wants to come home

[chronovore]

Subject: Nigerian Astronaut Wants To Come Home
Dr. Bakare Tunde
Astronautics Project Manager
National Space Research and Development Agency (NASRDA)
Plot 555
Misau Street
PMB 437
Garki, Abuja, FCT NIGERIA

Dear Mr. Sir,

REQUEST FOR ASSISTANCE-STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL

I am Dr. Bakare Tunde, the cousin of Nigerian Astronaut, Air Force Major Abacha Tunde. He was the first African in space when he made a secret flight to the Salyut 6 space station in 1979. He was on a later Soviet spaceflight, Soyuz T-16Z to the secret Soviet military space station Salyut 8T in 1989. He was stranded there in 1990 when the Soviet Union was dissolved. His other Soviet crew members returned to earth on the Soyuz T-16Z, but his place was taken up by return cargo. There have been occasional Progrez supply flights to keep him going since that time. He is in good humor, but wants to come home.

In the 14-years since he has been on the station, he has accumulated flight pay and interest amounting to almost $ 15,000,000 American Dollars. This is held in a trust at the Lagos National Savings and Trust Association. If we can obtain access to this money, we can place a down payment with the Russian Space Authorities for a Soyuz return flight to bring him back to Earth. I am told this will cost $ 3,000,000 American Dollars. In order to access the his trust fund we need your assistance.

Consequently, my colleagues and I are willing to transfer the total amount to your account or subsequent disbursement, since we as civil servants are prohibited by the Code of Conduct Bureau (Civil Service Laws) from opening and/ or operating foreign accounts in our names.

Needless to say, the trust reposed on you at this juncture is enormous. In return, we have agreed to offer you 20 percent of the transferred sum, while 10 percent shall be set aside for incidental expenses (internal and external) between the parties in the course of the transaction. You will be mandated to remit the balance 70 percent to other accounts in due course.

Kindly expedite action as we are behind schedule to enable us include downpayment in this financial quarter.

Please acknowledge the receipt of this message via my direct number 234 (0) 9-234-2220 only.

Yours Sincerely, Dr. Bakare Tunde
Astronautics Project Manager
tip@nasrda.gov.ng
http://www.nasrda.gov.ng/

Comments

[jjgalahad.livejournal.com]

Awwww. That poor astronaut. Let's all give him the deeds to our houses and our Social Security numbers.

[slinka.livejournal.com]

Your first name is Mr. and your last name is Sir?

[chronovore.livejournal.com]

Only by those who are asking me for money, and occasionally, very delicate favors.

However that's neither here nor there! The link goes to the article written by the person who received the spam.

Get that man some milk, stat! I said 2%, dammit!

[epiphaniesrus.livejournal.com]

I seem to remember that astronauts that are in space for 6-12 months have enough erosion of calcium in their bones that they need to be carried out of their landing craft and hospitalized for weeks. I sincerely doubt that someone who's been in space for 14 years would even survive the return trip - anyone know what the official record is for time spent in orbit?

[chronovore.livejournal.com]

Oddly enough, that's the first thing I thought of as well. Then again, scammers don't target smartypantzen, they target marks and rubes.