rebootied

MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—The popular search engine Google announced plans Friday to launch a new site, TheGoogle.com, to appeal to older adults not able to navigate the original website's single text field and two clearly marked buttons.

"The Google will have all the same information currently found on regular Google, but with the added features of not stealing your credit-card numbers or giving your computer all kinds of viruses," said Rick Tillich, The Google project director. "All you have to do to turn the website on is put the little blinking line thing in the cyberspace window at the top of the screen, type 'thegoogle.com,' and press 'return'—although it will also recognize http.wwwthegoogle.com, google.aol, and 'THEGOOGLE' typed into a Word document."

Tillich added that he hopes the site will soon replace Yahoo Internet Website.com as the most popular search engine for users over 55. (thanks cyclopea )

TOKYO—Japanese government officials confirmed Monday that the damage wrought on Japan's national infrastructure by the July 16th earthquake—particularly on the country's protective force field, quantum teleportation system, zero-point fusion energy broadcasting grid, and psychodynamic communications network—was severe enough to set the technologically advanced island nation back approximately 300 years to a primitive mid-22nd-century state of existence. (xposted to nihon)

Many academics would consider my lack of manliness a good thing. They regard boys as thugs-in-training, caught up in a patriarchal society that demeans women. In the 1990s the American Association of University Women (among others) positioned boys as the enemies of female progress (something Christina Hoff Sommers exposed in her book, "The War Against Boys"). But the latest trend is to depict boys as themselves victims of a testosterone-infected culture. In their book "Raising Cain," for example, the child psychologists Don Kindlon and Michael Thompson warn parents against a "culture of cruelty" among boys. Forget math, science and throwing a ball, they suggest--what your boy most needs to learn is emotional literacy.

...and the (American) guy next door says, "I'll tell you this much about the United States, we are SURE bringing about world unity. Because the one thing that unites the entire planet: hatred of us. It's like you've all became one big nation called 'the rest of the world.'"
I said to him, "Well, actually, we did. In fact, we've even got our own flag."
"Oh, yeah?! What is it?"
"Same as yours, but on fire."

danger_army

"Well, this is fun. I have no idea what some fo the things in your interests list are.
Interests: Improper dancing, swarf, and whatever that two character one is last in your list.
images: default, magnum, furious"

• Improper Dancing is very similar to Geek Dancing. It's the kind of largely arrhythmic and unselfconscious dancing that simultaneously attracts small children, like a somatic version of the Pied Piper, and repulses potential lovers. So if you're interested in going home alone, this is the kind of dancing for you. Though it is the only kind of dancing I have ever performed, it has only come to public attention in recent years through Elaine's dancing on Seinfeld (YouTube), as well as the venerable web classic How to Dance Properly by ZeFrank.
• Swarf is a luscious vocal/electronic band from the UK. I suspect their name comes from the industrial jargon, which are shavings and leftover bits from metalworking. I learned of them through Warren Ellis' site, and have kept up with their stuff through LJ, where their lead singer keeps her blog, and in_the_lathe, where Swarf posts band news. They offered their music for online purchase through the now-defunct mp3ria without DRM; if you're interested in hearing them, there are clips and free live tracks at their site and full songs can be heard through their MySpace player. But no one in their right mind recommends a visit to MySpace. (shudder)
• The two-character entry at the end of my list is "Nihon" (or the older pronunciation "Nippon") which means "Japan." The pronunciation of those characters in Chinese, "Jipang" provides the international pronuciation of my host country's name.